they think that I've done easily 

they assume that their business is more complicated than mine

It is fine.

I am in a state where I don't want to explain anything at all. 

I am in a phase where I can only stare to the blank pages for hours. 

thinking and thinking and keep thinking.

yeah, that's what I am doing 

I struggle with value, concept, thought and perspective. To become human. 

My research probably not dealing with numerical or statistical objects, but I work hard in creating a perspective. A human perspective.

Our country experienced a very long colonial history by the Dutch. 

They were not only taken our place, our resources, our people but everything. Literally everything, including the most important one: a perspective. 

Within three centuries, finally, we are able to get back and take our freedom. 

but, do we truly free? 

No. In 300 years, they not only colonialized the good but the most essential one, our brain has been washed too. 

It happens to us, from our ancestors and pathetically still being an unconscious awful legacy till today. 

Racism, gender discrimination, social inequality, pessimism even corruption are some of the legacies that doctrine and tied up our people unconsciously in mind. 

It has been almost three hundred years left after the colonialization, we are freedom. we get independence. We are now a country where lied among more than 30 thousand ethnicities and race. Standing alone facing the world as an independent country. 

2019, a modern digital base era. We are the same position as other countries, showing the world that we are too able standing with mastering the technology.

However, how about our humanity? Do we upgrade our humanity as fast we upgrade our technology?

Horribly, no. 

Look around. How many ignorance faces of people hearing a voice of gender inequality? Heartless when somebody seeking justice of sexual harassment. Look how massive parents abandon their own children. Look how massive closed minds thinking that book isn't the primary needs for the human being. Look how happy the face of our great leader, saying beautiful words about their people, but actually, they eat the public money for their own desire. Living in a multicultural and multi-religion country but less tolerance and emotionally attached easily. 

Those are proved that even three hundred years is not enough to change the human perspective.  

To change a mindset need tremendous multiple time. It is abstract, not exact and easily rejected.

People's perspective does not easily come as a result of 1+1 = 2. 

We need to feel and think. To collect everything and absorbed it. 

Because to become human is easy, but to get an understanding and have humanity is totally uneasy.